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Sept.
25 — Family Day
PRAISED BE JESUS
CHRIST!
(Now and Forever)
The material that crosses my desk is truly amazing. I’m thinking of
appeals for my support focused on practices of penance and piety judged
to be the answer to a variety of the world’s ills.
People
call for Russia to be consecrated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary (the
Vatican says it has been), Friday abstinence for peace, various prayer
practices to end abortion, etc., etc. Each of these has value, although
I do not necessarily give them the same priority as those who suggest
them to me. The pastors of the diocese are as familiar with these urgent
appeals as I am. The First Friday devotion dates back to St. Margaret
Mary Alacoque; the First Five Saturdays devotion to Sister Lucia, the
Fatima visionary; the Divine Mercy Chaplet to St. Maria Faustina, etc.,
etc. Fast and abstinence for specific causes, the rosary and litanies
all have a place in Catholic life.
On a
different level but in that context, a mailing received in May seems to
warrant some attention; at least the basic theme makes sense to me.
Did you
know that the more often children and teens eat dinner with families,
the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use illegal drugs? Since
1998, research by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse
(CASA) at Columbia University has consistently demonstrated that fact.
Here’s
the point: Whether a family gathers around the table for macaroni and
cheese or a five-course meal, no one should underestimate the power
behind the simple act of taking time to eat dinner with children
regularly. The stories and laughs shared during dinner time help parents
stay connected to their kids.
Driven
by that conviction, CASA several years ago launched “Family Day — A Day
To Eat Dinner With Your Children.” It’s observed on the fourth Monday in
September. That will be Sept. 25 this year. And, apparently it is
gaining momentum. It is estimated that last year more than 1.3 million
Americans pledged to celebrate “Family Day” by eating dinner together
with their families. President Bush, 47 governors, 500 city and county
executives, and scores of organizations and religious groups supported
the concept of “Family Day.”
“Family
Day” is an effort to promote parental engagement as a simple, effective
way to reduce substance abuse by children and teens and raise healthier
children. It emphasizes the importance of regular family activities in
parent-child communications and encourages Americans to make family
dinners a regular feature of their lives. One day a year won’t do it, of
course. But one must start somewhere.
Regardless of a teen’s gender, family structure or social or economic
status, frequent family dinners make a difference in the lives of teens.
That’s the battle cry. Compared to teens who have five to seven family
dinners in a typical week, teens who dine with their families fewer than
three nights in a typical week are nearly three times likelier to use
marijuana, two and a half times likelier to smoke cigarettes, and one
and half times likelier to drink alcohol, according to CASA. CASA has
also found that frequent family dinners are associated with higher
academic performance. Teens who have dinner with their families five to
seven times in a typical week are 50 percent more likely to get mostly
A’s and B’s in school than teens who dine with their family fewer than
three times per week.
It is
felt that America’s drug problem is not going to be solved in courtrooms
or legislative hearing rooms by judges and politicians. It will be
solved in living rooms and dining rooms and across kitchen tables by
parents and families, at least that is the driving force behind “Family
Day” and the position taken by Joseph A. Califano Jr., former US
Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare. “Parent power,” he says, “is
the most potent and under utilized way to prevent children from using
substances or engaging in risky behavior.”
I’m not
suggesting that “Family Day” is to be equated with the family rosary,
First Friday or First Saturday devotions, and such. But, I am not
oblivious to the difficulties parents have in gathering their children,
especially teenagers, together for meals. The suggestion that families
should take meals together perhaps is a no-brainer for many parents.
Yet, with the ever-present and sometimes overwhelming demands of school
activities, working teens and working parents, it is not as easy to have
meals together as it once was.
It’s
something to take to heart in those situations where the family meal has
become a rarity. Moreover, it fits in well with the teaching of the
Church on the family as Domestic Church.
The Catechism of
the Catholic Church
teaches that it is in the family that parents are “by word and example
the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children.” That the
home is “the first school of Christian life.” It is in the family that
“one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous —
even repeated — forgiveness, and the importance of divine worship in
prayer and the offering of one’s life” (1656-1657).
This is
played out in a variety of ways. The family meal can provide an
excellent environment in which to do it.
Some
concrete suggestions:
-
Start
the pattern of family dinners when children are young;
-
Make
at least one meal a week a non-negotiable “family meal”;
-
Use
Sunday as the day to pick several nights during the upcoming week when
the entire family can eat together. Make your best attempt to stick to
the schedule;
-
Encourage your children to create menu ideas and participate in meal
preparation;
-
Turn
off the TV and let your answering machine take care of your incoming
calls during family meals;
-
Talk
about what happened in everyone’s day: school, work, extracurricular
activities or current events;
-
Establish a routine to start and end each meal. Light candles, add
individual “thank you” reflections for events of the day to the prayer
before meals, eat dessert or play a board game after dinner to
continue the conversation;
-
Keep
conversation positive and make sure everyone gets a chance to speak.
It’s something to
take to prayer. If statistics are accurate, it is well worth the demands
of time and the energy it requires. |
